I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
