Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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