I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Randomize
