remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Randomize
