I need help removing her.
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
