Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Randomize
