you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
