went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize