see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
