haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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