then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Randomize
