Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Randomize
