Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Randomize
