can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
