Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Randomize
