Your tits are I can't wait for
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize