So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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