I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize
