i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
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