Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
