I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
