Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
