she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
