actually, I'm a sock model
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
