so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Randomize
