This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize