Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
