a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
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