Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
