We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I'm passing your future prison.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Randomize
