my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
