Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
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