I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
