So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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