I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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