I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
apparently the secret to your success is patron
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Randomize
