now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
