just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
