found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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