So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Randomize
