And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
