Will you blow on my dice?
pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Randomize
