So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Randomize