It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Randomize
