there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize