I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Alive.
So much puke
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
