we're blogging at a bar
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
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