Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
