i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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