I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Randomize
