I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
So much Jack, so little girl.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
