Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Randomize
