So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
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