all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I just found a bag of teeth...
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
