So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
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