How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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