bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
