She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
it was like eating out sand paper
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
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