Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Randomize
