you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
The Olympian is in my bed
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
