My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Randomize
