just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
