I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Are we still banned from the library?
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Randomize
