Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
